Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
