You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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