you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
