If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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