i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
