Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
