somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
17 year olds will be the death of me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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