I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
