you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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