If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize