there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
