Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
