THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize