I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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