i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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