Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
