I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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