My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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