it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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