i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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