good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So much Jack, so little girl.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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