i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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