Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
