This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Say something about gay babies.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
