i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
