I puked a lego.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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