Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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