I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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