Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i think i just lost a toe
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
