The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
