i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
