I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
