either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
