Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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