I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
