the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
