My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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