You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
