Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Come see our sink grown plant.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
