This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
