Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
