I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it was like eating out sand paper
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
