I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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