so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
