there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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