she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
organizing the empties. That sober.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
