why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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