We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
