As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
