What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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