he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
