My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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