i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
