So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
