Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
