You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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