He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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