Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
