There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
