The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
