I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
